How will it be? What shall I, someone so weak, bring before so great of a God?
I had a heart full of fears, I was unsure that He had called me because I looked at myself and saw too many shortcomings, I was so focused on who I am and what I can do that I forgot who He is and what He can do. And then He spoke to me plainly, “My sons, do not now be negligent, for the LORD has chosen you to stand in his presence” (2 Chronicles 29:11).
The word that caught my attention was: “negligent”. Isn’t our fear in God’s eyes negligence? Isn’t obsessively looking at ourselves and murmuring that we are not good enough or that others would be better suited, carelessness on our part to His extraordinary plan? Doesn’t our fear or worry diminish God’s power?
I used to think I had every right to be afraid, and that He would understand if I refused His call, but God opened my eyes to understand that when you are His child, there is no reason to serve fear. Now, as sons and daughters, we no longer have the right to be afraid because we are protected by Him.
Led by His call I arrived here, the place where you discover God’s goodness. The first thing I heard from their mouths was: “God is good all the time”, and then, at first I thought: how can you, in all the deprivation here, declare with a smile that God is good? But now, two weeks later, I can say that YES, God is good, His goodness does not depend on material blessings, He is good in all circumstances, He is good because He gives the deprived more than the rich have, God pours out peace, joy and fulfillment upon them. Here He showed me that what we call joy is nothing compared to what those who put their trust in God alone experience. Trust in the Heavenly Father is the source of their joy, and our trust in our own strength is the source of our disappointment and anxiety.
How easily we were deceived! How blinded are we to believe that joy can be found in anything but God? We put our hope in the things of this world and end up frustrated and exhausted. We set goals that promise much and, once achieved, find that the satisfaction is far less than we expected. We are lied to that “if we had”, “if we were someone else” or “if we did more” … “we would be happier”. We believe these lies and then we start to give ourselves to them, we give our time, our energy and even our health, we chase after the wind and in the end we realize that it was all vanity. Out of all our toil of trying to find happiness, the only one who is truly happy is Satan. He is happy because he manages to distract us from the Source of true happiness, he makes us his slaves and we serve him faithfully. Satan tries to lie to us that here on earth we will be able to experience heaven. That’s why we fight so hard because we want to create our own heaven, to live on this earth what was created just for heaven: full joy, comfort, only good days and only people who love us and understand everything we feel, but the reality is often just the opposite. Facing reality produces suffering, and suffering brings the gentle hand of God. This is what we live for, to experience Him, to know Him and to taste the true joy in Him. When you touch Him you feel a touch of heaven and that makes you responsible for those who are burdened by the lies of this world. We can’t be selfish, we can’t just keep to ourselves, we must fight for them too, for those who think they can be fully happy here, for those who seem well but their hearts are broken, and for those who have nothing on this earth we are responsible to make known to them the treasure beyond.
Now you and I are responsible for all these souls who, in our eyes, are valuable, but all the more so in His eyes. Therefore, on the day of judgment, He will ask us: “What have you done for My beloved who have not known Me?”
My sons, do not now be negligent…2 Chronicles 29:11